Wisdom

Wisdom in some ways is the right measure of all things. Everything that God has given me is good, and meant for good, and can be used for good. But it can go bad b/c I live in this world, and have the seed of sin in my heart. I need lots and lots of wisdom to live for truth. It comes from heaven.

That’s the thing. I must live as if I am citizen of another world, which is true! If my focus is on this world, I will live according to this world. If my focus is on His world and on Him, oh I would live totally different. And I need Him. I want to focus on Him.

One thing I noticed the other day. Jesus is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. THat means that He controls time. Satan on the other hand shows up in the Bible being rushed b/c He is short on time. If I want to grow more like God, at one point, I will have control and authority even on my time. That’ll definitely help me be in perfect peace. The peace beyond understanding comes from a world beyond this one. It’s an unatural ability. Perhaps I can rephrase that to “supernatural ability.”

I want to live above this world, in heaven, full of Him and full of heaven. But that does not mean pompous. Jesus was very humble, the most humble of all, so humble He came down from heaven to earth. I want to have the humility of Jesus, the great Man and the great God of heaven.

My b-day

So my b-day was last Sunday. I had a great time hanging out with friends and family and actually talking to Maranda the next day. That was really awesome.

Originally, I wanted to ask all my friends for a verse, or a word. But I ended up forgetting to do that. But I guess God didn’t. Someone gave me Psalm 1.

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but His delight is in the law of the LORD, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper.” Ps 1:1-3

Blessed – happy; to be congratulated; to be envied! Blessed I am if I actively walk away from wicked ways, from dark schemes, from what is done in hidden and secret places, from ungodly counsel. But not JUST that. Blessed I am if I do that AND delight wholeheartedly in His law, and TRULY delight in it so that I ACTUALLY spend time in the Word day and night – all the time, consuming, even in my dreams!

Like a tree I will slowly but steadily grow. I will go through seasons, but I will always be growing up or growing strong. It’s not going to be a one day thing, but that also means that my life (His life in me) will remain. I will surely bring fruit, in His seasons, and the work of my hands will be blessed.

Thank You, Father, for this word. I surely want to follow Your counsel, and not the counsel of the wicked. I want to go deep in your word whatever the cost.

My Cry for Something from Heaven

What am I willing to give up for a reward in heaven? I know for certain that there is a reward system in heaven. And I don’t want to regret on that day. How should I live my life? I have to walk in faithfulness, in humility, in integrity and righteousness.

And what do I do when I fail? Or when an unique window of time appears, but it seems like all of hell is against you? That is a pretty darn good question. Jesus taught that the kingdom of heaven belongs to the poor in spirit. In these days, I need the wisdom of heaven, the mandate of heaven, the power and breakthrough of heaven. Heaven, the Holy Spirit, Father and the Son is what I need. I need Him in abundant measure, w/o limits. I need HIm to breakthrough. So I commit myself again to give up the petty pleasures of this life for the breakthrough of heaven in my life.

Come Holy Spirit, come!

The Challenge of Adullam

The season of Adullam is the hard season. David was chased by Saul and the top 3,000 soldiers in Israel for possibly 7 years. It was a very difficult 7 years, and his first hideout in this season was the Cave of Adullam.

The Challenge of Adullam is a very difficult challenge, causing real pain. But to grow in the Lord and to accomplish high goals in the growth of the heart, one must grow. God always forgives, and He always gives a second chance, but the day comes when we just have to grow up in faith. The truth is the true Christian will be crucified one day, and though we stumble so many times, the day comes when we have to face the onslaught of the devil and of men. And if we choose not to, we fail. We really do fail in this life, even if we sincerely love the Lord deep inside. I don’t want to fail.

God help me.

The hidden hand of the Father

When David was in the wilderness, it seemed as if all hell was loose on him. It seemed that there was no way out. Even the great warrior who overcame Goliath became desperate. That’s a big statement!

But all the while, the Father’s hidden hand was over David’s heart. You see, in the wilderness and while being chased like a dog, David had every reason to be angry. A few times he had the chance to kill Saul and use his military for his own purposes, especially when he was angry. But that was exactly the test: he had to learn to restrain himself. As a king, he couldn’t create a tyranny, using the national military for his little personal revenges. The king had to be a servant to the nation, and king David had to learn to rule his spirit. That’s why he went through training. It seemed like the devil, but in reality, it was the faithful and hidden hand of the Father.

I heard Mike Bickle say something once that really helped me: “God will make sure it gets really dark before it get bright.” I agree. So in the dark seasons, I look up and I hear the mandate of heaven to live a Joel 2 lifestyle, to delve into this book and hear the voice of God. I hear this mandate and I know it’s His kindness. He’ll shape me and in the end, if I am faithful, I’ll end up with a bright heart – a heart shining w/ love, faithfulness and humility. And He will be faithful, for sure. The rain is coming, though the drought last several years. There is a rain of the Spirit that is just around the corner.

But for now, here I am, pursuing His love, being violent in the Spirit, living a Joel 2 lifestyle. And I know that the sovereign hand of the Man Jesus Christ, overcomer who sits at the right hand of the Father, is over me. Thank You, Jesus.

Joel 1:2 – The cry to be authentic

I’ve been delving into Joel and I’ve been seriously challenged. Joel was a messenger, but before he became one, I believe he had many wrestless nights of prayer and many encounters with God.

The book starts w/ a cry for authenticity: “Hear this, you elders… Has anything like this happened in your days…?” (1:2). He calls for the leaders to look at the problems facing the nation, to take a real good look at them and see them for what they are.

Before I go on, I must say that I believe this book fits for more than national crisis and eschatology, though those are the two main and important focus. I believe it fits for personal crisis and family crisis as well. Joel is a guide, a challenge, an answer that gives hope in the hour of crisis. How are the righteous to respond? What will God do in our favor?

Joel starts w/ a cry for authenticity. He cries out something that has been stirring in his heart. He sees his nation in desolation and he can’t bear under the burden of the problems that have come to Israel. He said, “What the chewing locust left, teh swarming locust ahs eaten; what the swarming locust left, the crawling locust has eaten; and what the crawling locust left, the consuming locust has eaten” (1:4). This is a literal locust plague, but symbolically, I feel like our families so many times have been consumed by life, by Satan, by sin. My heart many times feel this way. It’s just waves of destruction taking away life, joy, bouyancy, love. I feel so dry. So hungry. So empty and hurting.

Joel goes on, “How the animals groan! The herds of cattle are restless, b/c they have no pasture; even the flocks of sheep suffer punishment” (1:18). Life is so dry, so horrible that even the animals suffer! Even the animals cry out to God at the dryness of our hearts. Romans says what happens to us happens to them. “Fire has devoured the open pastures, and a flame burned all the trees of the field” (1:19) What pain behind these words. What anguish, the kind you feel deep in your gut.

That’s how I feel.  My heart is not okay. It feels like my joy has been devoured by the circumstances of life (locust) and like fire (from God and from the devil?) has devoured my heart. My family is dry. My church is dry. I need to be authentic. Things are NOT okay.

One of the biggest problems, however, is entertainment. TV is like anesthesia. Oh, life sucks, so let’s go out and have coffee and pretend like everythign is okay. Joel had a different response b/c of something that happened in his prayer closet. He couldn’t lie to himself anymore. He couldn’t medicate himself anymore. He took a real look, from heaven’s perspective and saw that things were NOT okay. “Awake, you drunkards, and weep; and wail, all you drinkers of wine…” (1:5).

“Hear you, elders, and give ear, all you inhabitants of the land!” (1:2a). I want to be an intercessor. I want to ask God to show me a TRUE, REAL look at life. I need to hear the groan of the animals and the fields devoured by fire. I need the pain to go deep in my gut until I can’t ignore it no more. To receive healing, I must know the depth of pain.  I want to be authentic before God before I can point my finger to certain people. Yet I must say this out loud b/c it helps go deep inside my heart.

I must be an intercessor for my elders, that they would have an encounter with God and hear the groans of the Spirit and the parching thrist of God’s sheep. I must pray for my parents to have an encounter with God that’ll lead them to desperate prayer. I must pray for leaders of this nation to have such a true look! I must have such an encounter. I must serve my leaders in this way before I can be trusted w/ a message such as Joel’s.

Prophetically, I say in my prayer, “Listen, you elders, and all you people, to the groan. Have an authentic look at life. See it as God sees it. Awaken you drunkards. Don’t let TV and another bbq act as anesthesia, and thus lead you away from God and closer to destruction. All of us, let us be honest w/ ourselves, let us be poor in spirit, and cry out to God. Perhaps He will hear us and turn it all around, and turn out tears into rain.  Do we have any other hope? Is there any other way?”

God, help us. Encounter us with authenticity. Without this, there is no true cry of prayer. As long as we’re drunk and medicated, we will never have the spirit of prayer and supplication. Help, God. You’re merciful, and You are our only chance.

Joel 2

In hours when the heart grows dark, God is the answer. It’s time to not look around, not look to people, and look to heaven, and see the Man Jesus ressurected. He rose up out of the wilderness with the glory of God, and He is leading me to a wedding day. These things are important. These things I need to keep in mind.

The Lord is so faithful, and now I am delving into Joel, w/ my helpful study guide from IHOP!!! It’s a great joy to see Scripture open up. The cool thing I noticed is that Joel talks about the emotions of God a bit, and I’m sure that this bit that the Spirit has put into this wonderful little book is very crucial to the overall message. Therefore, I want to go deep.

Joel talks about the DAY OF THE LORD, which is future, but lesser days have been historical and can be present. I don’t think, however, that this matters only to historical, world-wide events. Crisis in families can be dealt w/ according to the principles of Joel. So does personal and church crises. I feel like in a time where I need to press on in prayer, fasting and weeping; to go on ahead asking for the rain of the Spirit. I just realized something the other day that I cannot do it on my own strength. I cannot change men’s hearts. It has to be the outpouring of the Spirit who brings conviction.

And I know I am called to live in a semi-perpetual state of Joel 2.

So, here is my prayer focus for this season:

1. Breakthru of the Spirit in healing and righteousness in me and my family (again, i can’t do it. but He’s merciful, gracious and slow to anger. He’ll hear me)

2. Breakthru spiritual strongholds in me and my family (i need His victory manifested against all the spiritual strongholds and demons constantly in battle)

3. Breakthru of the Spirit in power and miracles in me and my family (i want to live here w/ the righteousness and resources of heaven)

Life is crazy

Dear Friends,

I’m so sorry I haven’t been keeping you up to date w/ my life. Truth is I’ve been working a lot, sometimes 10 hrs a day + commute. By the time I get home, I’m pretty tired. So I spend a little time with my family, a little time w/ Jesus and then it’s straight to bed for another busy day.

 But God is in control and I feel like this is a season to be faithful with the mundane so He can entrust me with spiritual things, such as moving to KC! Pray that I will pass the test! Pray that I won’t have to take it twice!!!

Things are going mostly well with the Lord. Every now and then when I’m driving I’m just hit with the amazement at God. The fact that the Holy Spirit lives in me is awesome!!!!!! I keep praying, “Jesus, You who have authority over the Spirit, give me Living Water to drink.” I love Him. I’m also praying for wisdom on how to manage money.

 Please pray for my parents. Things are going really hard lately, especially financially. Pray for breakthru of heaven. Pray for wisdom and good stewardship. Also, I’m trying to get a paid internship in Genetics this summer. And PLEASE pray for my mom. She’s been a bit discouraged lately and she needs a few intercessors to pray Eph 3 (strength in the inner man) over her. Thanks for all your love. I’ll try my best to keep this updated.

 lots of love…

The Indwelling Spirit

These last few days I’ve been thinking about this verse: “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water” (Jn 4:10).

Of course, this living water isn’t just a pretty metaphor, or a nice little feeling on the inside during worship in the church or while driving. It’s God. It’s the Holy Spirit, the Indwelling Spirit. Later on, John explains that living water is God, the Holy Spirit (Jn 7:39). Water is a great analogy for the Spirit, b/c He isn’t just about power (anointing oil). He’s about survival, health, thriving. I’ve been praying, “Jesus, You who exercise authority over the Spirit, give me of Him. I want to drink living waters from Him.”

The wonderful thign of course is that the water the Spirit gives me is knowledge of Jesus. Last night I was thinking, “God loves to obey God! He is so humble, so meek!” Jesus never spoke a word or did anything w/o seeing the Father do it first, and the Spirit never says a word except that which He hears the Father and the Son speak. God actually exercises authority over God and God loves to be under the authority of God. I’m sure I don’t really get it, but it just feels so wonderful to actually have some understanding of the Trinity for real, for like the first time in my life. I want more.
Therefore, I feel great. I want to shout I know God, even though I don’t. (The book of Job tells me so). In Your sight, O God, I am great b/c I am the chosen one to be Your dwelling place forever. The stars they don’t move You. Waves can’t undo You. Mountains in their splendor, they cannot steal Your heart. This God who is holy, perfect in beauty, awesome in glory, is ravished by my heart. And though I’m dark You say I’m lovely, though I’m poor You say I’m beautiful. Somehow my weak love, has overwhelmed You. Somehow my weak glance, it has stolen away Your heart! This is so awesome and wonderful!

Thank You for the blood of Jesus.

Meditations on the Prodigal Son – Part II

The famine eventually hits the land. The Prodigal Son now begins to understand his weakness, his frailty. He no longer has any of his inheritance left and it hits him hard: he cannot live on his own. He is not self-existent as God is.

I think often times God sends famines on purpose in our lives. We might call it hard times. Or we might blame it on the devil. But I often think it’s an intentional famine from God. We can clearly see this in the lives of sinners who don’t repent. They reap consequence after consequence, and perhaps one day they’ll humble themselves and repent. But I’ve noticed that in my life famines will come in order to woo me closer to the first commandment. Famines, however, bring real pain, and how can a good God purposely and consciously bring pain to His chidren?

I remember a father at my church, whose little son got leukemia. His son was hospitilized almost continually after a while, and at one point he had a fever that would not come down. So, the doctors asked the father to give the child a cool shower in hopes that the fever would come down. The child asked the father to not do that b/c he didn’t like cold water. But his father gave him a shower w/ cool water anyways…
The love for earthly things is cancerous. It kills the soul; it dulls the heart. I would say I’m a ‘good’ Christian. However, the 1st commandment is about ALL my heart.  ‘Good’ can sometimes be the worst enemy of ‘best.’ I don’t want anything less than a whole hearted devotion.
…The father told us his story at church w/ many tears in his eyes. He didn’t want to cause his child discomfort, but he had to. What a hero! What a true father!
So, why do I think any differently of God?

My hero! My Father!